Samenvatting

Caring for someone can be very strainful. In this article the author states that stress reactions are not necessarily due to the burden of the emotional or practical care load itself. More important factors are the individual capability to regulate emotions and the way in which careseeker and caregiver interact on emotional topics such as pain, panic, sorrow, depression, and anger. The author starts from the attachment theory and describes the importance of attachment for someone who feels threatened, sick or fearful. Deep stress may hinder the caregiver to be aware of the thoughts, emotions and acts of the other person. Several effective and non-effective interaction patterns are described. The author argues that without self regulation the risk of care derailing and mistreatment will be substantial while the need for external regulation grows.